Grasping for Joy and Fighting for Hope

I was reading today in Romans 12, verses 9 through 15, on the marks of a true Christian. Verse 12 says: Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

That's a tough verse for me, especially right now. More and more days pass, and there is no news on the possibility of a permanent attorney position, and more people around my wife and I are pregnant (some for whom it is not the first time). So how hard is it to rejoice? Hard to impossible, to be honest. As for patience, I'm a pretty patient guy (you could ask those that know me) but I'd have to say that I'm fairly worn out. And prayer? I'll be honest that lately I've been at a little of a loss to know how--the more I think on it, the less I know to say, and I praise God that the Spirit knows my groanings when I am in this place.

God has been gracious to us while during law school and me passing the bar--if you would have told me the struggle would have been in finding the job, I wouldn't have believed you!

Then we come to verse 15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. I would be lying to say that I had not been wrestling with feelings of jealousy and envy with those who have been blessed with what my wife and I desire. Believing in the providence of God as we do, we know that God has set things out as He has for a reason, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. It takes a lot, even with the help of the Spirit to muster congratulations to those who receive what we lack.

I have been pondering on the second half of that verse (or at least the concept) in my own thoughts, and it brought me to the book of Job. In the body of Christ, it can be very easy to become like the friends of Job. With Bible in one hand, we can make very quick (and sometimes very insensitive or inappropriate) conclusions or statements to the person in suffering or grief as to what needs to be done or how the situation needs to be handled. Now, notice that I didn't say that the conclusions or statements were correct or incorrect--the statements could be fully Biblical but completely untimely and ultimately not loving. The simplicity of the last part of verse 15 is simply this: simply weep with those who weep. This doesn't mean to tell them, "hey it will all work out" or "your time will be soon" (because they are truly not the ones to be able to make those promises--only God knows) but it does mean, "I'm sorry you are going through this" and holding them up in prayer or even holding them physically.

Natalie Grant sings a song called "Held", and the lyrics are quite appropriate:
"This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held. "

I don't know how much longer the "falling" will go, but the only thing we have left is to trust in God and what He will do. It's very hard to keep hope, to fight for it--so I must ask the grace of God to give it and trust Him to hold us both while we wait.