Wait Until Your Father Comes Home...

(yes, I am still alive...I often have things that cross my mind that I'd LIKE to blog about, but rarely have the coherence/time to put them down into a post such as this one. Now, back to your scheduled program...)

Have you ever been talking with a group of friends or even colleagues at work about your childhood and you get around to the subject of discipline? It might go something like this:

Person 1: "Boy my dad really put the fear of God in me."

Person 2: "Yeah, I'd back talk my mom and all she'd have to say was 'wait until your father gets home' and that would straighten me right up."

I've been reading a book called Grace Based Parenting by Tim Keller that has made me really analyze the traditions of discipline, even as it plays out in the Christian community. Even as Christians, we have the above conversation, even I admit to having it with other folks, even believers, and we almost during the conversation boast about a discipline that may not have been grace-filled or biblical.

I'm going to make a strong statement: discipline that is NOT based in Christ's love, His grace and His Gospel is abuse. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines abuse as a "corrupt practice or custom." Thus, abuse is the corrupting of a practice or custom that may be considered normal or acceptable. Another definition is the improper use of something, which could also be applied here.

Now, before certain parents (who would be against spanking) start pointing fingers at other parents (who would agree with the spanking of children), saying "see, you shouldn't spank your kids, that's abuse!" Please hear me. This abuse goes deeper than the method used; our motivations and our heart drive our parenting behavior and methods. In application, I could easily see one parent who combines love and discipline through the method of spanking and yet another who does not spank but abuses the child emotionally and verbally.

Our goal in discipline should ultimately be (after correction and discipline) restoration and the preaching of the Gospel to our children; God in His goodness provides access to Him through Christ to whom we can repent of our sins. Even though we are His, our sin creates a barrier to Him in that it builds up a wall in our relationship with Him. So too is it with our children; even if the act is not against us directly, the disobedience is ultimately against God and we must (as stewards of the blessings of children that God has given us), direct them to Christ and mend the wall that has built up between our children and us. We do so by showing them grace, love and mercy throughout the disciplinary process.

Lord, let us search our hearts and examine ourselves while being good stewards in leading and guiding our families!

Saw It On Facebook...

Friend's status: "just saw Manute Bol"

Friend of friend's comment: "Did you climb him?"

HILARIOUS! I could laugh about this one for a while! ha!

(For those who do not know who Manute Bol is, see here. He played in the NBA and at 7 foot 7--that's right, four inches TALLER than Shaquille O'Neal--was one of the tallest players ever to play in the NBA. My friend comes in at a shade under 6 feet.)

I just found this image, where he's pictured with Mugsy Bogues, one of the shortest guys to ever play in the NBA.

Greatness of Grace

I was up early, as usual this morning, and the Lord reminded me of how my love for the Gospel was awakened when I came to understand biblical (Reformed) Theology. It was, in a way, like a conversion but more like a wake-up call. Many that are not totally opposed to Reformed Theology usually have the hardest time with the election prong of it.

However, it was truly understanding this doctrine that knocked me over and made me say, "Thank you God!" Election was not about God randomly choosing to keep people OUT of heaven and His salvation, but rather graciously calling them out of their sin and from their inevitable destruction and INTO His grace and life eternal. When I grasped this concept, I was amazed at His grace, that He would do this for me. He didn't have to save one of us, but to glorify Himself in showing his justice and mercy in the same act, He called His Son to die to pay our debt and guarantee our salvation.

Amazing grace, isn't it?

I just realized this is the 200th post. Thanks for reading!

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Saturday, Sunday

That's about how our weeks feel right now; it's the same every day or just feels like one long day, then the weekend.

I finally located a video/music clip that illustrates this feeling. The Marx Brothers were truly (in my opinion) the greatest entertainers that ever lived. Some people are musically talented, some are funny, but these guys were BOTH. You don't find that anymore. This scene is from Animal Crackers, and at about the 3:00 minute mark, Chico Marx plays the theme song for the weeks we've been having. Enjoy the WHOLE clip--Groucho is great, but you have to pay attention because you have to think about what he says or you might miss his humor.

Sin is Crouching At Your Door

My good friend in Virginia Beach wrote a great post on sin and how it relates to both our being male or female as well as our personality.

Sin is Crouching at the Door

Check it out!

Making the Final Cut

Rather than talk about the spendulus package that is currently being discussed in DC, I will post on something more lighthearted and trivial.

So, before our son came along, we were really into to several programs and we loved our DVR because we could pretty much record them all and watch them at our leisure. They included (in no particular order):

Lost
24
Heroes
Bones
House
Chuck
Smallville
Supernatural
The Closer
Psych
Law and Order: Criminal Intent
Burn Notice
Eli Stone
The Biggest Loser
American Idol
The Office
Eureka
CSI: Las Vegas
Mythbusters


This is likely not the whole list since there are some shows that I know we probably watched but (thank goodness) did not last long and were canceled; Eli Stone, listed above, was one of those shows that did get canceled, but was well done.

But then our little boy came along and we really had to focus on him (since obviously he was more important. What happened in the weeks and months after he was born was like something out of Survivor or American Idol.

We began cutting shows. First we cut Bones, then I stopped watching Supernatural (which of course JUST NOW got interesting. Oh well.). Then CSI had to go, then the Office, then House (yes, it's good, but the cynical just wears on you after a while). Law and Order Criminal Intent went and then Chuck had to go too; we had three episodes of Chuck on the DVR and we just didn't feel interested. Heroes was the one that was taken out with the final cut, and I'd have to say it hurt, but when you have three programs on at the same time, there you go! (as an aside, my wife and I were thinking the other day how weird it would be to go back 10 years ago and say, "oh, I'll just catch the episode online"). Psych may be on the outs as well since life in general takes too much time for silly little programs, even if it is funny!

So, now I'm down to about 5 programs--life has a funny way of setting priorities. In the end, I think I'm better for it. And even these five are hard to get watched (I spent most of Sunday trying to catch up on 4 hours of 24!). And I'll catch up on these other programs some other day.

Wha?

Last week started like any other week, though I did know over the weekend that my grandfather was getting worse. Then several bombs got dropped on me at work (things brought to my attention that needed immediate work) and I really didn't get anything done.

Then, about 20 minutes before I went home, I got the call from my dad (who had already flown to Missouri to be with my grandpa a few days earlier) that grandpa had passed away. The week then shifted into high gear and the whole thing felt very surreal.

I had in some ways been trying to prepare myself for this eventuality, his passing, but not having seen him much in my life due to the geographical distance between us, this was hard to quantify emotionally. I was really sad, but glad that he didn't suffer long; I was disappointed I didn't get to see him again before he passed (and also that my wife never met him), but happy that he had my dad and aunt near him when he did.

The thing that complicated the week was a HUGE winter storm that was coming through the Midwest at the start of last week; as a result, I left with wife and son Tuesday morning at about 11AM and dropped them off in WV around 3PM. It was raining but quickly changing to a sleet/snow when I got to Charleston. It got messier and messier the further east I got, since I was going to my folks in KY to meet up with my mom. It took me about an hour and a half longer to get to my parent's house, and I was pretty beat by that point. I then spent two hours shoveling the driveway and chipping off the ice of my mom's car because we had to drive it that next morning to Missouri. Sleep was not great because I spent the night listening to various huge branches being cracked and torn by the ice that had accumulated (sounded like thunder!). We then left at 6AM and it took me about an hour longer than usual to get to Louisville to pick up my brother (we didn't break 40 MPH in the icy slush).

After getting stuck in snow in the McDonald's drive thru, we then trekked out to Missouri, but we didn't get there until 6PM CST (7PM EST), meaning we left from Louisville at 8AM and it took us almost 11 hours from that point, when it should have taken seven. I was driving anywhere from 35 to 45 MPH, and at some points, we were the only car on the road; I had to stop somewhere about every hour because the temps were so cold outside that it was icing up my windshield wipers and making them ineffective (meaning I couldn't see). Not that even with a clean windshield was I able to see the road. It was still snowing while we drove, so it was SNOW/ICE/More Snow. I saw many tractor trailers jack-knifed and on the side of the road, and many abandoned cars. I said MANY prayers while driving. The roads really didn't clear up until St. Louis, and I let my brother take over driving from that point.

Thursday morning brought the lunch/viewing/funeral/gravesite service, with the whole thing lasting about four hours, and then back to my stepgrandmother's house for supper. It was good to see all of the family again, though too bad it had to be under these circumstances. We all went to bed somewhat early that night, then got up on Friday and drove back to KY. When we got back to Louisville to drop my brother off, his landlord said they didn't have power. My dad and I helped my brother get the ice off his car and he followed us back to my parents' house.

I had contemplated going to WV on Friday night, but it was snowing YET AGAIN in eastern KY and WV, so I went to bed early and drove the 4 hours to WV on Sat morning. We then went to church yesterday and came home yesterday, getting home about 9:30 last night.

After doing 1800 miles in five days, I'm okay with staying put for a while. Maybe one day next week I'll be recovered. Thanks for all your prayers.