Wait Until Your Father Comes Home...

(yes, I am still alive...I often have things that cross my mind that I'd LIKE to blog about, but rarely have the coherence/time to put them down into a post such as this one. Now, back to your scheduled program...)

Have you ever been talking with a group of friends or even colleagues at work about your childhood and you get around to the subject of discipline? It might go something like this:

Person 1: "Boy my dad really put the fear of God in me."

Person 2: "Yeah, I'd back talk my mom and all she'd have to say was 'wait until your father gets home' and that would straighten me right up."

I've been reading a book called Grace Based Parenting by Tim Keller that has made me really analyze the traditions of discipline, even as it plays out in the Christian community. Even as Christians, we have the above conversation, even I admit to having it with other folks, even believers, and we almost during the conversation boast about a discipline that may not have been grace-filled or biblical.

I'm going to make a strong statement: discipline that is NOT based in Christ's love, His grace and His Gospel is abuse. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines abuse as a "corrupt practice or custom." Thus, abuse is the corrupting of a practice or custom that may be considered normal or acceptable. Another definition is the improper use of something, which could also be applied here.

Now, before certain parents (who would be against spanking) start pointing fingers at other parents (who would agree with the spanking of children), saying "see, you shouldn't spank your kids, that's abuse!" Please hear me. This abuse goes deeper than the method used; our motivations and our heart drive our parenting behavior and methods. In application, I could easily see one parent who combines love and discipline through the method of spanking and yet another who does not spank but abuses the child emotionally and verbally.

Our goal in discipline should ultimately be (after correction and discipline) restoration and the preaching of the Gospel to our children; God in His goodness provides access to Him through Christ to whom we can repent of our sins. Even though we are His, our sin creates a barrier to Him in that it builds up a wall in our relationship with Him. So too is it with our children; even if the act is not against us directly, the disobedience is ultimately against God and we must (as stewards of the blessings of children that God has given us), direct them to Christ and mend the wall that has built up between our children and us. We do so by showing them grace, love and mercy throughout the disciplinary process.

Lord, let us search our hearts and examine ourselves while being good stewards in leading and guiding our families!