ReformedEsq

An attorney's reflections on life, law, theology, sports, and other random topics. Enjoy!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Wandering

This move "back" in one sense has been hurried and overwhelming in many ways. It feels that we are still trying to get our bearings with what has occurred, all the while not really feeling settled because we have not found a physical home; 75% of our stuff is still in storage and we are crammed into a 1 bedroom condo. However, given the economy and current state of things, we are obviously thankful to have a roof over our heads and have our needs provided for.

It still doesn't change the fact that we feel a little displaced, since we don't have the rest of our stuff and we don't have our dog, not to mention that this is the first year since we've been married that we have NOT had a real tree. Instead, we have "ernie" the three foot fake pine tree. It is currently sitting right by the computer monitor on our desk, but its the only semblance of Christmas that we have in the place. Half to three quarters of our state got blanketed with snow, and it would appear that we live in the only place that got enough snow that the clouds must have sneezed by accident and gave some to us.

But enough of "woe is me" on lesser matters...there is a feeling of a prolonged winter in my heart, because simply enough, I have not been faithful to prayer and reading of the Word. Life got shoved into high gear when we moved and I have been scrambling to keep up. As each day passes, I become more and more convinced that if discipleship habits are not established early, they are harder to establish much less keep. This feels like my ultimate failing with my little boy; we did catechize him prior to bed most nights when at our old house but as things got busier up until and now after the move, it has stopped completely. My personal devotional life has all but dried up, with the exception of a few mornings when I go to the ESV site and have the Bible read to me audibly (Max McLean, specifically). When tired and needing to "relax," I find myself craving "entertainment" when what I often need is the "enrichment" from the nourishing and satisfying Word of God. (not that entertainment is bad, but it often can distract from what you really NEED)

The wandering is much like the people of Israel, wandering in the desert, persisting in their ways; I know that I must come back to the Bible and to faithfulness to the Word and prayer, but life and my own desires more than often get in the way of that. The move back has been tough because as we picked up our mat to go East, to come back here in one sense, it's not coming back to anything we know, because while the area is the same, the people we know are gone. Starting over again is tougher, because I am so busy at work and now with us trying to get our little boy to sleep by himself, it is difficult to find time with each other, much less get to know anyone else.

We have been in the condo much longer than we anticipated (I actually had to go to the mall to buy sweaters because we didn't want to go to the storage place to search through and get our winter clothes out!). Added to that is the church search, which has somewhat been up in the air since we did not know where we would live; we've tried a couple churches, but neither of them are obvious as the previous two we attended (first when we were living here at Beach the first time and then the one back where we just moved from). We attended those churches, and we just knew that it was the right fit. It has not been that way this time. So we are discouraged to come to Christmas and not have either question (home or church) answered. All this added to the fact that I have not been taking the daily bread that is right in front of me in the form of the Word.

I pray that we find a church that we can support and they support us in life-giving community; the road will be difficult enough ahead but I cannot see us doing well without such support. (I have prayed often for an older man to be a spiritual mentor, but this has not yet been granted) But the Lord is faithful and He has brought us here for His glory, and He will be glorified, whatever that will entail. Merry Christmas to everyone and may He bless you all.

9 Comments:

  • At 8:27 AM , Blogger Chris said...

    I'll be praying for you and your family Dan. Specifically, that you'll find a more permanant place to live and you'll find a new church home. We miss ya'll!

    If I were in the area, I would consider visiting:

    http://www.covenantheritage.com/

    Take care brother!

    Chris

     
  • At 3:27 PM , Blogger Pedro Garcia Millan said...

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  • At 5:38 PM , Blogger David Blugerman said...

    Thinking about you guys! God bless you! You always have thoughtful things for me to think about!

     
  • At 6:43 AM , Blogger Dan B. said...

    Thank you both for your thoughts and prayers. Rebekah is looking at a few places today, so hopefully we might have a good lead by the weekend.

     
  • At 7:47 AM , Blogger Joseph said...

    Wish I were there so we could go out and grab a cup of coffee (or double chip frap). Praying for you and your family, my friend. Please pray for me as well. We have been experiencing similar wanderings lately.

     
  • At 7:32 AM , Blogger ded said...

    I prayed for a mentor for years, as well. Then I turned fifty and realized the Holy Spirit had always been and wanted to be, my mentor. I trust you will find such a one in the flesh or come to know the Presence of Jesus within you in such a way.

    Thanks for visiting my blog; that's how I found yours!

     
  • At 11:00 AM , Blogger Dan B. said...

    Joey--indeed, brother. I would certainly love to hit Starbucks for that. Praying that God guides you through the wanderings as He does us.

    ded--Christ never leaves us and never forsakes us, for sure. And He sent his helper, the Holy Spirit to be our counsel...but oftentimes in my flesh I deny or ignore that counsel. But God definitely gives us people as a means of grace in refining us (as iron sharpens iron, so does one MAN sharpen another) and a human can grab you and say, "hey, that's not right" and keep you accountable as a good Christian brother should. This particular human (meaning me!) needs someone with age and spiritual wisdom to be a guide...and I don't think I can ever be too old for that.

     
  • At 5:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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  • At 11:28 PM , Blogger wsxwhx717 said...

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