Being Transparent with the Body of Christ

Our Pastor David had some very good closing words during his pastoral prayer yesterday that really got to me; he spoke of putting on that fake smile, like everything is okay when it really isn't. Oftentimes he pointed out that in church settings, if someone doesn't have that "mask" on, we get really uncomfortable that they're being so real, open and broken before us (almost to the point where we don't want to associate with them). Sometimes I have to fight the urge to put on that face during that linger time we have after the service, but I was able to be honest with some people yesterday that no, things were rough at home because both my son and wife were sick (thankfully I think both are on the upswing!) and in trying to care for them I was really weary.

I could have smiled and said (in response to "How's it going?"), "pretty good, how about you?" and continued on with the small talk/chatter that often accompanies that start to a conversation. But if we can't be real in church, to fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, who can we be real with? Is our response those at work understand us better? Or the guys at the bar? If so, then we need to prioritize the relationships where we are being real with people (and others in the church have a role to play in that as well, in changing their attitudes towards others).

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I am praying very hard that soon after the start of the year that I can find a mentor in life to help guide me (and keep me accountable) in my spiritual walk as well as in life in general. It has been difficult at times over the past few months to gauge where I am at (if at times I even know what day it is), in the busyness that is my life. I am very quick to help and listen, but oftentimes not as quick to ask for it; as a result, I can feel a little weighed down emotionally, as I do at times right now. Christ's grace has sustained me, but I need His means (meaning His people).

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In other news, my wife and I sat down on Saturday and hammered out our first monthly budget, EVER. After reading Dave Ramsey's book, Total Money Makeover, we have been motivated more than ever before to attack our debt and eradicate it from our lives. It will be long and hard, and we will have to make sacrifices, but I want several things from this: 1) for my children to be able to live without the burden of debt and to see what it means to live without debt; 2) to be able to save for kids' college and our retirement (read: my career change--I don't think I'll ever retire); and 3) to be able to give more than I ever have before.

This last one is one I am looking forward to more than anything else; there are times I want to give to someone or something but can't because my debt has restrained me from giving like I would want to. So as Ramsey says, we will live like no one else, so that one day, we WILL live like no one else. Pray that God will guide us through this.

More to follow.