On Pins and Needles

Well, the Attorney General's Office should be getting back to me this week on what their decision is for the Assistant Attorney General position. It will be quite hard for my wife and I to think all that clearly this week until we hear the news--it's one of those things where you just want to hear the news and then deal with it and move on.

My wife and I were talking yesterday after my pastor's excellent sermon on John 11 and how we wonder if that sermon was made to us, in preparing for a "no." Some salient points from the sermon, which covered Jesus' raising Lazarus from the dead, involved what were "ultimate issues." For example, the ultimate issue surrounding Lazarus' situation was not his sickness, as Mary and Martha thought, but the glory of God. Jesus delayed in going there, fully knowing the extent to which Lazarus was ill and that he would in fact die, so that the glory of God would be revealed.

Two comments from this that my pastor made: 1) We are taught that we ought not judge God's love toward us by what is going on in our life right now. 2) God may delay so that we can be accustomed to obedience, suspending our desires and exercising our patience (just as Jesus prayed, not my will, but yours, Father, be done).

God is certainly not on our timetable--but it's hard to hear that, in light of the news (one way or the other) that we will get this week. I constantly feel drawn to the sentiments of the psalmist who cries out asking how much longer it will last. I don't know, but I know that He is faithful, and I must trust. It is a hard thing!