How Long?

Lately, I have been literally living in the Psalms, as many of them accurately describe how I feel at the moment. I've also been reading Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure by Martin-Lloyd Jones. Both have helped during this time of walking in a spiritual type of wilderness--not that I feel far from God, but in the sense that waiting for an answer can sometimes feel like abandonment, though I know He is quite close and has actually been quite faithful in sustaining me and even growing me through this whole process.

But I can't lie--for another week to go by without a word AT ALL from the folks I'm hoping will employ me is quite tough. And then, last night, my wife and I went to praise team practice to prepare for worship on Sunday, and found out we were singing this song, based on Psalm 13:

How Long

How long O Lord
Will you forget me
How long O Lord
Will you look the other way
How long O Lord
Must I wrestle with my thoughts
And everyday have such sorrow in my heart

Chorus:
Look on me and answer
O God my Father
Give light to darkness
Before they see me fall


Bridge:
But I trust in your unfailing love
Yes my heart will rejoice
Still I sing of your unfailing love
You have been good
You will be good to me.


Needless to say, it was very difficult to sing that song (and as it works out, I will just have a minor part in singing it). This is good, because the song hits so near to my soul at this moment, it rings a little too true. It is important to notice, however, that the song starts as a lament and ends in worshiping God in His faithfulness. This is something I have to hold strong to, even in the uncertainty of the moment. He knows, ordains and guides all things. To Him be the power, the glory, and the praise, forever and ever!