Fighting a "Lean" Spirituality

Spurgeon, as usual, really grabbed and convicted me this morning. Here's what he had to say (emphasis mine):

"The ill favoured and leanfleshed kine did eat up the seven wellfavoured and fat kine."
Genesis 41:4

Pharaoh's dream has too often been my waking experience. My days of sloth have ruinously destroyed all that I had achieved in times of zealous industry; my seasons of coldness have frozen all the genial glow of my periods of fervency and enthusiasm; and my fits of worldliness have thrown me back from my advances in the divine life. I had need to beware of lean prayers, lean praises, lean duties, and lean experiences, for these will eat up the fat of my comfort and peace. If I neglect prayer for never so short a time, I lose all the spirituality to which I had attained; if I draw no fresh supplies from heaven, the old corn in my granary is soon consumed by the famine which rages in my soul. When the caterpillars of indifference, the cankerworms of worldliness, and the palmerworms of self-indulgence, lay my heart completely desolate, and make my soul to languish, all my former fruitfulness and growth in grace avails me nothing whatever. How anxious should I be to have no lean-fleshed days, no ill-favoured hours! If every day I journeyed towards the goal of my desires I should soon reach it, but backsliding leaves me still far off from the prize of my high calling, and robs me of the advances which I had so laboriously made. The only way in which all my days can be as the "fat kine," is to feed them in the right meadow, to spend them with the Lord, in His service, in His company, in His fear, and in His way. Why should not every year be richer than the past, in love, and usefulness, and joy?—I am nearer the celestial hills, I have had more experience of my Lord, and should be more like Him. O Lord, keep far from me the curse of leanness of soul; let me not have to cry, "My leanness, my leanness, woe unto me!" but may I be well-fed and nourished in thy house, that I may praise thy name.

I often find my spiritual life--my walk with the Lord--in a very bad state. I find my self simply existing or surviving but I know it should not be that way! I talk a great game, knowing my theology and my terms and even how I should pray, but do I do it? NO! I let other concerns grab my attention and before I know it, another day has gone by without prayer or without studying the Word (yes, I often READ the Bible, but I don't study it, meditate on it).

And as Spurgeon states above, even when I do make strides, my own inconsistency tears down the advances I have made because of my lack of discipline. The daily grace that we receive must be replenished; the daily supply of spiritual food through the Word and through prayer is a daily bread that the Lord grants to those who seek it. If it is not asked for, then simple struggles will help to erase strides that a Christian has made in increasing faith and trust in Christ. Of course, it is not of ourselves, but of the Lord--but our minds (and our faith) must be exercised. Just as you tone muscle in the gym or flex your brain in doing a crossword puzzle, so too is our faith toned or flexed when we consistently pray or get in the Word.

People might often wonder why those who have come to the faith need the Gospel preached to them; because we need to be reminded! I sat and watched The Passion of the Christ and I thought to myself, "what graphic images, I will never forget them!" And yet I have! I cannot even now glimpse an image from that movie in my mind! How much more do we need His Gospel in the Word and His grace as it is given to us in prayer! I fight a leanness in spirituality every day, and I must confess that I lose most of the time. Lord help me to feast in your fields and help me to hold fast to Your Word and Your love.