My First Trial is Over!

I had court this morning about 3 hours away at 8:30 (which means I woke up at 4 and left at 5 AM), and that wasn't too bad.

But I had a trial today back here in the Valley that I have really not been looking forward to for a couple of weeks--the opposing counsel was actually being considered for a judgeship, and I really didn't know how it was going to pan out.

I got back from my morning court date around 12:30 and stopped by my office to make some copies, but I was otherwise unable to do ANYTHING before I left because all I could think about was the upcoming trial in town at 2:00.

They put on their case, I put on mine and at the end of the day, I got judgment in favor of my client (the defendant, so it was dismissed). I was thrown a couple of curves during the trial and I honestly didn't think we'd come out victorious, but God was faithful in giving me favor with the judge. It feels so good that it's over now, and I'm glad I was able to get a good result for my client.

My boss even let me go home a little early since I'd been up for about 12 hours, which was nice. I think my wife and I are going out to eat tonight to celebrate, which should be fun.

And as an example that it's not like what you see on TV, the opposing attorney came over after the case was done and congratulated me, telling me I did a good job. Don't believe what you see on television--the bar (what we call the group of attorneys that practice before the courts) is on the large whole a great group of men and women of integrity who you can argue with before the judge but yet after court go grab a bite to eat with or play golf with on the weekend. Most people think that we're mean to each other and that somehow helps them in their case, when in fact it does quite the opposite--if opposing counsel have good rapport, it makes any litigation go much smoother (or may even prevent it--good attorneys aren't deliberately trying to delay or make it difficult for the other side). Being an attorney is a privilege (which I could tell you by the fact that the Bar is quite busy policing itself and takes infractions VERY seriously) and I consider it a privilege to be counted among them.

Day Downer

I had my yearly review today, one that I had not really been looking forward to. I just got back from a quite fruitless court date (the only case that I could have gotten something from, the person showed up and stated they did not owe the amount sued)--drove about 2 1/2 hours there and 2 1/2 hours back to essentially continue all my cases to a new date.

Right before lunch, I was called into my supervising attorney's office, we had a five minute discussion about things we had already talked about (things where I could improve) and then I was told that I would get a raise that from what I calculated was essentially a cost of living increase. I am grateful for a raise, though it is small and as an attorney, hard to face. I didn't really reply or have any thing to say since it wouldn't have done anything to change it--it's not like the initial negotiation process when hiring. THEY evaluate YOU and tell you how it's going to be. My "grade" was not very encouraging, but what can you do about it but move on and do better tomorrow--it punched me in the stomach today but you gotta get back up!

I'll grant that I've made mistakes (some of which were big) and that I probably didn't pick things up as fast as they wanted, but for all the traveling I do (even being reimbursed), I can't really say that I can stay here at the level of pay I've got (not to mention for financial reasons--student loans just don't disappear!). And I'm certainly not one of those self-esteem needy guys who needs to be puffed up, but I can't honestly remember one time this past year where I was called into one of the other attorney's offices for a positive reason, it was always when I was doing something wrong. So it seems if I'm not having office talks with them, it's a good thing. It's been an interesting experience so far, and I'm trying hard to keep an open mind to learning in spite of the struggle and my frustrations.

I'm glad to be working rather than not working (I did that for 10 months) and I have to find purpose in where my wife and I have been put. But it doesn't make it any easier to wonder why it seems that I've had to struggle harder than the majority of my classmates in making my way in the legal profession. God's got a plan, I know, but the weird schedule and traveling makes me weary at times (traveling 1100 miles this week alone makes me long for the weekend!).

Productivity Is Restful For Your Soul

In reading a recent post on the Together for the Gospel blog, I was struck by a comment made by John Piper when eating with Mark Dever. He said: "I find productivity restful for my soul."

This comment sure does resonate with me. I am a guy that likes to do things, have a list, mark them off, etc. But it's not so much having the list or the things to do--it's having them to combat the temptation towards idleness. You see, the Bible speaks numerous times against idleness, and equates it with those who are "busybodies and gossipers." (see 1 Timothy 5:13)

In addition, idleness whether at home, at work, or even in one's spiritual life opens the door to other sins. Just as with Cain, sin crouches at our door.

Having been unemployed for the last 8 months (though that will end soon!), you would think that with all this time, I would have read the Bible cover to cover, or read as many books by great Christian men that I could find. Reality? I have fought with even having a hunger for these things.

In fact, on days where I find I am doing nothing, I feel the most tired because I have wasted the day. There is quite a difference between living and merely existing.

Productivity focuses our mind on other things, puts us to task, helps us to practice discipline. I have recently initiated family worship between my wife and I, in the morning, and we read through a short devotional from Table Talk, a monthly devotional sent out by Ligonier Ministries. There are mornings that I'm sure my wife or I don't really feel like it. But starting our day off with that--a type of "productivity"--focuses our minds on what is important, which is our life in Christ. Productivity, in my mind, can be restful to the soul because if focused on glorifying and honoring Christ, it not only guards our heart against the temptations of the flesh but redirects our thoughts to the One who should receive all the praise, honor and glory. And in this, there is rest and even peace, for the soul.