What a Blessing!

I woke up this morning lying next to my dear wife and felt the baby kicking/punching quite strongly and was amazed to think how this time last year I was hoping SO HARD that this would be an eventuality.

My wife and I were talking just yesterday how we can't wait to meet him, wondering what he will be like, etc. When I think about him, honestly every other care melts away and I am so thankful that the Lord has continued to be faithful.

In other news, I did meet with my boss again yesterday and he came back with a number that is not quite what I hoped, but it was certainly a MUCH better raise than I got last year.

Whirlwind of Change...

So, two months ago, I was simply a low-level associate traveling the roads of Virginia and looking for a way out of my job...

And now, somehow, in two months, we lost a paralegal (the other one's last day is tomorrow), my supervising attorney left for a job in Ohio, we've hired two new paralegals and I'm managing them and looking for a newer attorney who apparently I will manage as well.

It's just really bizarre to think that things can change that quickly in just a short period of time--I actually conducted a semi-interview with an attorney that interviewed with our office today. I didn't think I'd EVER do that, at least not this soon.

But certain circumstances really convinced me, even before this happened, that my time here in this job and this area is not quite done yet (my wife being pregnant, my neighbor's situation, other situations). I say "yet" because my wife and I may be nomads in some sense for the rest of our lives, only God knows (we've moved nine times in less than seven years of marriage)--but I know that His hand is in this, and He has been faithful throughout.

God's timing is always perfect, though we're not always able to trust Him leading up to the fulfillment of His faithfulness.

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I would also ask for continued prayers for my neighbor, whose wife left several weeks ago and is going down a path that grieves the Lord. Pray for repentance, reconciliation and restoration (for both of them). Pray that truth would break through and awaken her heart. My heart breaks for them both, because I know that but for the grace of God and the restraining power of the Holy Spirit such evil lurks and could manifest itself in my own heart.

What Do You Treasure? (Part One)

Last week our pastor preached on the passage in Matthew 6, where Jesus spoke of earthly treasures and instead of clinging to those so tightly, we should "lay up" treasures in heaven.

He then gave us some diagnostic questions to think about over the week, and I thought that I would post and give some comment/answers to them (from my personal viewpoint).

1. What makes you feel rich? What makes you feel poor? Is your answer to this question articulated primarily in monetary terms? What makes you feel full, satisfied, and successful? Conversely, what makes you feel empty, exposed, uncomfortable?

This one is quite a question indeed, and I think most of us do, on some level, answer it in terms of money. Sure, I'm no Scrooge McDuck, but part of living in America tempts you to look over to your neighbor and say, "Gosh I wish I had a better car" or house, etc. I admit that at times I feel poor because of a type of lack of security by degree. Now what do I mean by that? I have a car, but it has TONS of miles on it and I wonder if it breaks down at any point? I do have fleeting moments where I think of how much I earn and wish I was earning more, but for me it's more of stuff that money can buy that can make some folks (me included) feel a little poor.

But now to the flip side--as for feeling rich, I feel rich in the relationships that I have with others. I am extremely blessed in my family life in that I deeply love all of my family and that most if not all know and love the Lord--I am not estranged with anyone in my family, and unfortunately these days, many people cannot say that. These riches far outweigh any feelings I may have of feeling poor, because at the end of the day, knowing you are loved not only by your Heavenly Father but in your earthly relationships can buoy any sense of loss or lack.

Feeling successful or empty, I think, is often rooted in America's sense of wanting to be secure: you graduate from high school/college, you get a good job, get married, have kids, have a great house, cars, etc. If we look around to see that some have what we want, we wonder what we have done wrong, or if someone has what we have, only better, we feel as if we have failed. It would be easy for me to say that as an attorney, I should be making more money or have a better job, but I have to be content to be where God has placed me at the moment. God really showed me this through the whole job search process as well as John Piper's book, Don't Waste Your Life.

2. What must you get in order to make life sing? Is the answer a physical thing? A large comfortable home? Successful children? Financial Security? A satisfying work life? Good grades at school? Cool parents? Answer honestly – where does Jesus Christ fit into the song of your life?

Looking at this question, I had to think about it hard--at different times of my life (as the Holy Spirit worked on me), some of the above were the answers to the question. I can remember during the first two years of college how I studied SO HARD and yet struggled to get grades that I was satisfied with; it was only after the passage on not worrying in Matthew 6 really got through to me that I got my best grades in my whole time in college. I've never really cared about stuff or houses or even financial security (because I simply look at money as a means to live and buy things I need--this is why it's not as hard for me to give it away).

In thinking about it honestly, I'd have to say being an important part in other people's lives--service would I guess be one of my stronger love languages and I really like to help others, so that makes my life sing. I have to confess, however, that Jesus is not always at the forefront of this as He should be. If I was honest, deep down I wonder if it was to obtain recognition or praise, and I have to fight this, examining why I do things. I struggle much with having a daily quiet time and studying the Word as I ought (see my post on resolutions for the New Year!), so as to keep Christ my focus in my actions.

3. What do you think about most often? How often do you think of money? How often do you think of heaven?

I have to say that I think of money in two circumstances: when something needs to be paid or bought, or if some special need comes up that I think that we can fill. I don't often dwell on money (as in "man, we need $___ to do this or that") for more than a short time--my wife and I have been married a short time but have seen God's provision time and again.

I think of heaven somewhat often, though perhaps not in a glorifying way. What do I mean? Well, I think it is great to think of heaven, but not when you are thinking of it in an escapist way: Paul spoke of "to live is Christ, to die is gain" and that these present sufferings are in no comparison to our future glories in heaven. I am prone to more often think of heaven when I am troubled or in pain, asking the Lord to "take me Lord Jesus" and in a sense, asking Him to rescue me from this God-ordained suffering that will in fact refine me for His purposes. It's something I have to work on, thinking of heaven in a Christ-like attitude, "Thy will be done."

Rather than make this post longer than it already is, I will do the second half of the questions in another post. Feel free to comment, I always enjoy discussion!

Ringing in 2008

So I stayed up to watch the ball drop last night (and for those who watched ABC, it's a little tough watching Dick Clark, right? But I'm glad he's still plugging on). Then we watched the fireworks from our porch and that was pretty neat.

I always try to convince myself on the eve of a holiday that I have to work the next day. Why do I do this? Because subconsciously my body reacts differently--yesterday morning, not only because I had just gotten back from a road trip to WV but because I had to work, I would have slept until 9 or 9:30 (yes, that's REALLY sleeping in for me). However, I went to bed at about 12:30 this morning and woke up at 7. Phooey.

So I was awake this morning and thinking of the topic of resolutions and whether to make them, and I thought that often it is what expectations we put on ourselves and the type of help that we use to implement them that causes us to fall short.

Making resolutions in general is similar to choosing what diet to use--a person can look at their weight and state that they are going to cut out several things from their diet only to buckle under the pressure because they have tried to do too much too soon. There is also power in numbers--if you have even ONE person who can do it with you, it can make it seem easier since you've got a friend along in the fight.

I've often made mistakes resolving to make grand changes in my personal devotions. I have bought huge commentaries or books that will help me only to fall from that after days or even weeks.

So, with all of this in mind, I will commit (rather than a more grand "resolve") to moving towards certain goals. Resolutions tend to ask for drastic change (not that sometimes drastic change is never called for). I think that looking at making changes more in the way that our own sanctification works in our walk with Christ can lead to them being more lasting and effective.

But such an attitude must be reinforced by others--no man (or woman) is an island, as John Donne penned. We need each other every day. One price of increased individualism is increased loneliness, depression and despair--every one alive today has (or had) a mother and likely uncles/aunts, grandparents, siblings, but we choose to ignore our resources. Even at church, many check in for service and then run out the minute the service is over! The Church is not a gas station for you to fill up with spiritual fuel and head out on your week! It is a buffet of resources and spiritual nourishment designed by God to help us through this life--Christ guaranteed that we would suffer for His name and that this life would NOT be easy. Is He not faithful to provide the means to endure it?

With all that said, I commit to the following (and I fully hope that anyone who reads this blog would ask me how I am doing):

1. To study (not just read) the Bible for 20 minutes each day, finding a consistent time for this and for prayer.

2. To make a concentrated effort to exercise more consistently throughout the week, not just on the weekend.

3. To spend quality time with my wife once a week (that doesn't involve the TV!)

4. To read one book a month.

And that's it. To me, it doesn't do to have a long list of resolutions and it doesn't help me to make drastic changes that set me up for failure. Any Christian should want to read the Bible more than they did a year ago, if they are progressing along in their sanctification, but even they might not be as consistent in it as they will be in 10 years time. Discipline is practiced and developed, not instantly made. I pray that the Spirit will move upon my heart and give me guidance as I work these out on a daily basis and that most of all that these would all be filtered through a desire to glorify God most of all. For as John Piper has said, He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

Happy New Year to all. May God send His blessings upon you this year.

A Tribute to a Godly Man

Robert Bailey, the father of my good friend Joey Bailey (family life pastor at Green Run Baptist Church in Virginia Beach), passed away last weekend. Many knew him as "Bob" and here is his obituary, courtesy of The Free-Lance Star in Fredericksburg (found here):

Robert J. Bailey

Robert James "Bob" Bailey, 62, of Fredericksburg died Friday, December 21, 2007, at Inova Alexandria Hospital following a brief and difficult battle with pancreatic cancer.

He was born Feb. 23, 1945, in Glen Fork, W. Va., to the late Oley and Pauline Bailey. He graduated from Glen Rogers High School in 1963 with state awards in auto mechanics. Robert was drafted into the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War and was awarded the Purple Heart for wounds received in combat, as well as the Bronze Star Medal for meritorious achievement against hostile forces. On June 23, 1967, he was united in marriage to Gloria Jean Moran of Oceana, W.Va. In 1987, Robert moved with his wife and their two children to Fredericksburg to work at Ourisman Chevrolet in Marlow Heights, Md., where he faithfully labored for 20 years. Robert's life had long been defined by his commitment to Jesus Christ. He was a loyal husband and loving father. He was a man of great strength, courage, and commitment to both his home and his church. Robert's loyalty and strength were matched by a heart always willing to help some one in need. Countless peo ple have benefited from his life throughout the years. Robert would be quick to give credit to God. He was a faithful member of Chancellor Baptist Church in Fredericksburg.

The three greatest attributes of Robert's life were his strength, love, and commitment.

Robert is survived by his wife, Jean; his son and daughter-in-law, Joseph and Stephanie Bailey of Virginia Beach; his daughter and son-in-law, Julie and Paul Thompson of Fredericksburg; four grandchildren, Jordyn, Grace, Nathan, and Emerson, who all knew him as "Pappy" and were his greatest joy; and his brother and sister-in-law, Rick and Freda Bailey of Glen Fork.

A funeral will be held at 11 a.m. Monday, Dec. 24, at Chancellor Baptist Church. The family will receive friends one hour prior to the service at the church. An additional service will be held at 2 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 26, at Palm Memorial Garden, Matheny, W.Va., with visitation one hour prior to the service.

Date published: 12/23/2007

Were it that even half of that could be said about us when we passed--a life of service, dedicated to God, and loved by his family. May we weep with those who weep, yet rejoice in knowing that our brother has gone on to the Lord.

A Thank-full Thanksgiving

Wednesday night my parents came into town and it has been nice to have them here--we're a little closer to them than we were when we were at the Beach, so it's good for them to come and not have to travel so far. My wife unfortunately had to work today even though I did get a rare day off.

It's amazing to think that another year has passed since the last Thanksgiving when they were down here, and much has changed. My dad, who had a job last year, finds himself unemployed now and having to look for work at age 57, which is tough for him. But, in another way, it has allowed him to do four (!) devotionals each morning as he prepares for his day (sometimes God wants to get your attention, yeah?).

I'm thankful for family, and for the strong Christian roots I've been blessed with--not only on my side of the family, but my wife's as well. I'm thankful for being able to work and having a job, as well as a reliable car and good house to live in. We have a wonderful dog and food to eat. And we have a great church with a great group of believers to fellowship with on a weekly basis.

But while being so thankful my wife and I realize there is a deep desire that we both have (to have a child of our own) and we wonder (constantly) if/when that will happen. We have prayed and groaned and it has made us weary (wondering if there is something within us or within that desire that is wrong?)--but it is in this that reminds me how marriage and the love within it is based on a decision that must be made daily. I must wake up and decide that I will love my wife, no matter what may come, and she does the same towards me. When I say that I love my wife, it runs deeper than cutesy hearts and cupid arrows and chocolates on Valentine's Day--I am committed to being the person she needs, now and forever, until the Lord Himself relieves me of that duty.

People often wonder why the divorce rate in this country is the same between Christian and non-Christian homes. A person once said (I can't remember who?) that love is finding your happiness or joy in someone else's happiness or joy. Did you hear that? Your deepest joy should be in making someone else happy--and the end game of your actions should simply be their happiness. Not to get a promotion, to feel good about yourself in giving them a certain gift (so as to pat yourself on the back for a job well done), or puff yourself up, but simply bringing them joy.

Most people don't see love in this way--they use it to get something for them--if it isn't useful to them, or can't give them an advantage, why employ it(though they would NEVER outwardly admit this)?

Be thankful on this day that you cherish Christ and that Christ is the center of your marriage (with the gracious help of the Holy Spirit), and if it isn't, plead in your prayers to Him to convict you in this.

We Are All Proclaiming Something

I went to men's prayer breakfast this morning and heard a WONDERFUL advocating of family worship. We read from Ephesians 5:22-6:4, a well known (and sometimes misinterpreted) passage of Scripture.

It speaks of the wife submitting to the husband and the husband loving the wife as Christ loves the Church; the visiting pastor (also named David and a pastor of a ARP Church in Blacksburg?) very correctly pointed out that the passage was NOT about the privilege that a man derives from that passage, but in fact the responsibility of men to their families. I am the first to say that I do not practice family worship as I should, and don't pray often enough with my wife--our pastor David pointed out that it takes a real intimacy to pray with your spouse, and this is something that has to be developed through the action of prayer.

The visiting pastor pointed out that there has been a real abdication of responsibility of men/families within the Church when it comes to spiritual instruction and family worship, and certain statistics were thrown out to show how many children leave the faith (being defined as not being a member of a local church) after a certain time subsequent to high school. The percentages were high and some objected to them bringing in examples of the prodigal son, that they don't tell the full story, etc. But focusing in on the numbers or their fallibility misses the point. The passage focuses on the responsibility of the man as head of the family to model and live out his faith by his instruction and discipline. We will be accountable for what WE do--focusing in on the complexity of the situation and other cultural factors will allow us, if we are not careful, to excuse our inaction when it comes to spiritual instruction to the family. We might say, "Johnny has strayed a little bit, but it's that city he's living in--it's too liberal" or "the college he chose doesn't have any good churches nearby" and so on.

But do we ignore the Psalms and Proverbs where it says "train up a child in the way he would go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it?" Do we not try?

I am of a younger generation, and though I do not have children, I am a product of the generation where youth functions and groups were designed to completely fill the gap created by the lack of instruction at home. As time has gone on, more and more "innovations" are put forth to pull more kids in--but if they don't see that lived out at home, there's a disconnect. The whole schematic is backwards. Home should be where the spiritual foundation is laid, and the church in its functions for youth should reinforce what is already or mostly known.

I agree with the visiting pastor--I don't have anything against youth groups--but it asks the youth leader to do more than he's able. If you abdicate your responsibility of spiritual discipline and instruction to the pastors of the local church, do you know what you're saying? "Hey Pastor Bob, would you raise my kids?" Because that's what it really amounts to! You can't shove the kid into youth group (at least the ideal) where the Word is preached and God's commands are advocated and then expect him to come home, see the exact opposite (or at least only apathy toward spiritual things) and be able to process the contradiction! It's like having two parents who have two completely different standards.

And this brings me to the title of this post--we all proclaim something with how we live our lives. Some will say, "I am not evangelist, I don't really know how to witness well" etc. But I would challenge you that are witnessing to people everyday, whether you know it or not--if they know you go to church, even that you are a Christian, you proclaim something. In your relationships, your work ethic, your temperament, and so on.

We as men will be held accountable for how we carry out the responsibility we have been given over our families, and it is something, when I think about it, that shakes me to the core because I know that I have failed miserably in it. But as someone so correctly pointed out this morning, it is not too late to start now.

Christ is not just a part of our life, he should BE our life, permeating our conversation and our thoughts, as well as our relationships with our family. This can only happen through immersion in the Word and gaining knowledge about our God, having His praises on our lips through song and through prayer. What did Paul desire? In 1 Cor. 2:2 he states, "I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Christ and Him crucified." Let that be our prayer today as we love and minister to those to whom we have been entrusted with, and let the Lord deal with us graciously, and not as he ought.

It's 5 A.M.

And all the rest of my house is sleeping soundly, while I sit eating breakfast and prepare to leave in a few minutes on a 3 and 1/2 hour journey to Southwest Virginia. It's not that I have not had anything to write about--I've got sermons to blog, other thoughts that run through my head, but maybe I've taken a sub-conscious break from blogging because I haven't felt very motivated. The days have all been a blur, and these past few months have been very tiring. A friend of mine asked whether I prefer being in the office or on the road, and I said it was an interesting question--I'd rather be in a different type of work!

My wife and I went up to West Virginia to her family reunion and it went well, though with all of her dad's brothers and sisters aging (he's 67 and the youngest of 12!), less and less are showing up due to death or illness. But it was still a good time--lots of food and visiting. Makes me wish my family could do something like that, but the logistics (everyone being flung across the United States--one as far as Oregon, the other coast) make it very impossible.

I hope to have some more thoughts when I come up for air this weekend. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Not Much Posting this Weekend...

My wife's family got here last night, so I may not be around the blog much. It's a treat for them to be here since they've never seen our house (at least her brothers and dad haven't)--the weather should be good for the weekend, and I'm looking forward to having Monday off!

Have a great weekend, and fellowship with other believers in Gospel preaching church this Sunday!

The Importance of Family

Well, it's the weekend, and after having survived my first day in court just a few days ago, my wife and I ventured to the hills (or should I say mountains?) of West Virginia. It's always very relaxing to come here, to get away from the business of life.

Today we went to a birthday party for an uncle of my wife, who is 80 years old today. Yes, you read that sentence right. She has an uncle, and he is 80 years old. Her grandfather was born in 1886. He's no longer with us, and she never really got to know him. My wife's family is an extraordinary thing. To contrast, I have five cousins, TOTAL. My wife has 65 first cousins, on her dad's side ALONE.

Now, I say all of this to make this point. Family is going to be only as important as you make it. On my side of the family, we're all spread out--from Oregon to Missouri to Georgia to Kentucky to North Carolina and Virginia. We rarely are able to get the whole family together! But my wife's side all lives fairly close, and so at each opportunity for a gathering, they are all together. They may not have much in the world's eyes, but family is paramount and they are rich in that.

It would behoove American society to look back to the strength of what a family brings, rather than trying to keep up with the Jones'--the bigger house, car, etc. I've never known a kid growing up who (if he or she is TRULY honest) if given the choice, would rather have more stuff than spend time with mom or dad.

Family is a microcosm of history--first-hand accounts of war, good and hard times. And I've heard that unless we learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it. Why not glean wisdom from our extended family and learn from others' past mistakes? It's amazing what happens when you listen.